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Sunday, April 4, 2010

Cry it out, day 3: took 7 minutes

But I spoke too soon. See, I am not a huge fan of Cry it out. I don't like the idea of a baby having to cry herself to sleep, of a tiny baby in a dark room calling mommy and she never comes. I've heard of a baby that threw up each time his parents tried for months. I've heard of a baby that developed serious nightmares that she carried with her long into a childhood. I am sure that eventually it benefits the baby but isn't there a better method?

On top of that, Cry it out never worked for us. We could have a baby screaming for 2-3 hours without any result, even if we tried over and over again. She just wouldn't sleep. If it would be few days, then ok, but weeks and weeks.... I dont' think that shows it worked for us.

I was getting really frustrated becuase everyone was telling me that I have to do that, and what else and such and that their babies slept right away through the night ever since they were born, and similar nonsense (I am not mad at those whose babies slept since 2 months, I had like 5 friends telling me this week, so I'm courious, is that a milestone or so, we did have a change in a sleeping pattern around that time as well, to be honest) I'm just angry when someone presents me with the nonsense that is not true at first sight and is just frustrating me further.

In last three days, we noticed that baby Moesha actually started to fall asleep fairly quickly. We tried hybrid Ferber method (hybrid because I don't really know in details how it works, so I did the bits and pieces from what that little bit I knew slashs some tips from Supernanny) Yesterday it took only 7 minutes !

I was so happy. Until 1 am . Bebe woke up and sang/cried/sand/cried/sang in her crib for 3.5 hours during which she threw up twice. Obviously I had to feed her because she wouldn't not go back to sleep again (she was hungry and gulped down 6 oz which she never doez, 3 is about the record)

Nights like this make me really angry at my husband. He is a very nice guy, but also a tv junkie and I suggested once that perhaps we can have one day a week sans no tv. He wasn't pleased and suggested that to work this out I must wake up at 7.30 am in return. So that would give me full about 2 hours of sleep and then I can get the no tv day and his full attention. Good deal !

At this point, I don't know what to do. Continue with cio or not, naps or no naps... If you leave me a comment, please don't tell me that your kids slept through the night ever since wherever. Today is not a good day for me to read that.


kortney said...

Truthfully, I gave up trying. Once in a blue moon, Alexys sleeps through the night. 99% of the time she doesn't. It's simply a fluke when she does. Nothing different happens on those days.

Alexys still likes to have a bottle during the night - and I cared for a long time. And slowly I'm starting not to care. Pretty soon she'll be old enough to get up and get herself her bottle in the middle of the night (haha, well another year or so)...and that's just fine.

My mom helped me realize that some babies need bottles or nursing during the night longer for comfort - that's just their personalities. Alexys needs to know I'm there and she wakes up to make sure. Sucks for me but could be worse. One day I'll be dragging her out of bed. I'm just glad she needs me.

And just because she doesn't sleep through the night, that's okay. Really. It's not a milestone - some kids sleep better than others. That's a fact.

My one thing is nap time is a MUST. And it always will be until she's in school at least. She goes in her crib, and for now she does nap, but is starting to show signs of dropping it. Doesn't matter to me - she's still going down in her crib/bed for quiet time once a day. That's my time during the day and as selfish as it sounds. I need it.

Novel over now ;)

Nikki said...

Hmm tough call. We did CIO with our little guy because we felt we had weeded out all other problems first. It took about 3 days and then he started to just fall asleep at night without crying at all. We also did CIO for naps and it has helped there too. I think in general it shouldn't take much longer than a week - otherwise it might not be a CIO type of problem.

It may be that CIO is not the right solution for you. I highly recommend reading Ferber's book because it talks about all kinds of sleep issus and provides solutions for all of them. What many people don't realize is that Ferber does not recommend CIO for all sleep problems, just some, and it's important to know the difference. It's a good read, I learned a lot about sleeping and babies.

I tend to agree with the previous poster though, I personally think naps are important. Marcus sleeps way better at night if he's slept during the day. Every kid is different of course. But check out the book, it's useful.